This Is Me
by MissKins
Summary: Fathers are supposed to love their kids...not in Suzane's case. Living in an abusive home can take a toll on anyone and when her Aptitude Test comes around she knows this is her chance to change her life. Between calling a Dauntless member a dick and getting her result Suzane will have to decide if she wants to keep being afraid...or to finally be brave. -Sounds better I promise-
1. Loveless

**This Is Me**

Hi there! Thank you for taking the time to check out my story ^.^ Just a heads up, yes, this is my first Divergent fanfic but don't let that stop you from reading.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Divergent the Movie or the Books, if I did things would be a bit different and Eric would be mine ^.^ I do however own Suzane and any other OC's that pop up in this fic.

**Warning:** This is rated M for a reason. Lemons will be present but not until in later chapters but I will say that abuse and adult language will be present at the time in this chapter and if that doesn't suit well with you then just click the back button.

**Notes:** So this chapter will be in 1rst person but I may end up changing that in the next chapter, so please write your reviews on what you think of chapter one! This is set during Tris' initiation. NO WAR (or maybe there will be...I'm not sure yet)

* * *

The pain was terrible but it's something I had long since gotten used to, vibrating through my torso and all along my back but never on my arms, legs or face…nowhere visible because _he_ of course couldn't have others knowing what he left on my body after all.

Another sharp pain wracked through my already battered body but I refused to cry out, least _he_ take the satisfaction in hearing my weakness.

Hadn't it been enough?

A hard kick to my ribs had me biting hard on the inside of my cheek, blood instantly coating my tongue as my teeth sliced through the skin.

"You're worthless. You don't deserve to be here after what you did!"

The hateful words were nothing new to me as I tried to protect my ribs from another kick, they were words I have always lived with hearing almost every single day since the time I turned nine. The bastard had gotten the advantage this time over me, hiding behind the door like the coward he truly was until I walked through and came into his sight.

I hated him…I hated him so much.

Blinking through the tears I glared up at him from my position on the ground, a snarl curled in my throat before it was replaced by a sharp shriek as a sluggish kick got past my arms to collide straight on with my already bruised ribs and I both heard and felt the sickening crack of one of them.

This time I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I began to shout, "Daddy! Stop! _Stop_!"

Did I forget to mention that my abuser was also my own father, my own flesh and blood?

My screaming plead seem to finally get to him though as all the kicks and punches ceased. Trying to breath was slightly difficult but I knew from experience that the rib hadn't fully broke, just cracked a bit. My slight wheezing mixed in with his panting as my father glared down at my with near black eyes, shoving his black rimmed glasses back up his slim nose as a sneer took to his face.

"What's your lesson this time, Suzane?"

I would be a complete fool if I didn't know what he was talking about; of course my teacher would call to let all the parents know how their children were doing in class so far. Staring at the cold, hard ground I mumbled out, "Not to get second ra-!"

His shoe connected with the back of my shoulder, sending me once more into the floor as a whimper escaped me as it jarred my rib and so quickly I voiced out louder, "My lesson is to never allow myself to drop to second rank, sir."

I hate him…I hate him…I fucking hate him!

I barely saw the cruel grin that appeared on his face as he said, "Correct." Then just as quickly as the grin was it was gone in a flash as he walked towards the living room, "Get out of my sight, your worthless presence offends me."

He didn't need to tell me twice.

With difficulty I pushed myself off the floor, being mindful of my injuries and the crack rib while doing so, grabbing my school bag in the process before limping as fast as I could towards my room.

I despised my father so very, very much; just like he loathed me for taking away someone important to the both of us. Someone I never had the chance to meet because she died the day I was born.

He blamed me for killing my mother.

**oOoOo**

It was when I was hiding in my own bathroom with the shower running did I get a good look at the damage done to me this time once my shirt was off. Once more I felt the burning sensation of tears in my eyes as I stared at the fresh bruises and marks from this times beating. Beneath those I could see clear as day the older marks that were still trying to fade away as well as a few scars that decorated my sides and when I turned I could still see the ones on my back but mostly on my shoulder blades. My right side was the worst though at the moment since that was the side he broke my fucking rib on.

This wasn't right.

It didn't take a genius to see that this was not right at all. No father should ever, ever hit or harm their child…so why was mine? Why couldn't he just give me the silent treatment or send me to live with my aunt who actually did love me?

Glaring at my body with sorrow and disgust I shed the rest of my clothing and hopped into the steaming water, hissing as it caused my body to protest but soon I felt my muscles relax after a few moments and carefully went about washing my hair and my body. Only once that was done did I allow myself a few more moments to relax, to gather my thoughts as I pressed my forehead against the tile, the coolness feeling rather refreshing against my heated skin before I turned off the shower and dried off.

Tomorrow…tomorrow would change everything.

I hope.

With a single swipe of my hand I cleared a path through the steam to look at my reflection, I looked so very much like my mother…or at least I thought so from the pictures I remember seeing before he took them down and stashed them away. I had her hair, long and thick…a milk chocolate brown that would lighten during the summer and darken when winter would come around. My eyes were a darker than hers were though, whereas she had light greyish green I had a darker jade with bits of amber in towards the center, courtesy of my father on that part since he had hazel eyes. My facial features held a lot of hers, minus my slim nose which once more I got from him, but my heart shaped face almond eyes were from her. Lightly tanned skin that showed that I didn't spend all my time indoors studying came from neither of my parents since both were fair skinned whereas I could tan pretty well and hold it.

Sighing I turned away from the mirror to finish my nightly routine, quickly yet thoroughly brushing my teeth before switching off the light to enter my room attached to the bathroom. Roaming over the books scattered about the room I glared at it all, I didn't want this life anymore.

Who would?

Sure I loved learning new things and was smart…very smart but I hated my life here.

Tomorrow though would change everything, it had to.

Slipping on my long t-shirt I slid into my single bed and turning off my lamp I stared into the darkness. I hated the dark…when I was little it wasn't uncommon for my father to lock me in the closet when I was deemed 'annoying' or 'useless'. Let me tell you…being locked in the closet at a young age…it is horrible and terrifying and you are completely helpless.

That didn't stop me from pulling up the blanket to my chin as I laid there while trying to forget about me falling in rank…the beating…the throbbing in my side and the ever black darkness that surrounded me.

'_Deep breaths…just take deep breaths and relax,' _closing my eyes I allowed myself to slowly relax from my tensed state as I thought about how tomorrow would go. It was the aptitude test and I would finally get my turn to take it since I was sixteen. Would I be Erudite, like I feared or Amity…Abnegation, Candor…or Dauntless?

As sleep crept up on me I softly sang to myself, praying I would get anything…anything except Erudite…

I didn't want to be afraid anymore.

**oOoOo**

Once morning came I had to move quickly, rising earlier than what I was used to so I could wrap my ribs, dress in my black leggings and shirt along with my rich blue jacket, and leave before my father woke up. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him and I highly doubted he wanted to see me again so soon.

Only when I felt the slowly rising sun did I allow myself to release the breath I had been holding, earning myself a few odd looks from those who were walking close to me to hear but I merely offered them a slightly smile and a polite nod before walking my way towards the testing area. I was one of the few who walked alone; making friends didn't come easy for me but oh well…not like I planned on staying in my faction for much longer. Weaving in and out of groups of people I made sure my head was down, my curls flowing over my shoulders as I walked at a fast pace towards mine and every other sixteen year olds destination.

The quicker I got there the better as I went to round the street corner.

Or not.

Either I had cut too close to the corner I was taking or the person did because all I knew as I soon as I went around it was pain. The next thing I knew was falling and then roughly colliding on the ground on my rear as a hiss shout out of my mouth at the rough impact. Damn it…apparently today was not going to be pain free either.

"Watch where you're going, know it all." The voice, low and rough, had me nearly flinching back as I opened my eyes just in time to see black combat boots standing right before me, I knew instantly who it was I had collided with…a Dauntless member.

Scrambling to my feet I bit back a cry as my body throbbed but it didn't stop me from glaring up through thick lashes at the jerk. Grey eyes met mine and I couldn't stop the shudder that ran down my spine at the cold, deadly look that was held in them but I didn't have time to site see some Dauntless asshole, as he went to continue walking in the same direction as I was, I did not move to the side like one would expect as I merely walked forwards as well, and then I did something I knew I would regret someday.

I shoulder checked him…well…really arm checked him since my shoulder came just below his own thick muscular one as I continued on my way, throwing over my shoulder in a very un-lady like behavior, "You watch it, dick." I didn't bother looking back to see what his reaction would be but I sure did feel his burning gaze on my back as I walked, this time with my head up, towards the growing lines.

Great…

I kept my face neutral as I took my place in line, keeping my gaze straight and not bothering to engage with any of the others as I stood there silently as time went on slowly…ever so slowly.

"Hey you're a Barton…Susan right?"

Mentally cringing I glanced over to my right to see a dark haired teen with dark eyes staring at me, immediately I took notice of his white jacket. A Candor.

"Did you not hear me? I asked you a question." His voice was teasing enough but I could hear the slight irritation edged in there as well that had me responding only because it was a warning tone my father used when I didn't answer right away, "Suzane."

"Excuse me?"

I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling as I turned my attention back on him, having to crane my neck up a bit as I stared right up into his face, "Did you not hear me? I said Suzane…not Susan." I tried to keep the bite out of my voice but it was so hard when he was looking so smug.

I already didn't like him.

A few snickers went around me but I ignored them as I kept my eyes on the Candor before me, though I logically knew he would not try to harm me out in the open that didn't stop me from treating him like he was dangerous…because he was.

I could see it in his eyes, like I could with that Dauntless member…like I could tell with my father.

Oh but Mr. Smooth was going to try and charm me it seemed as a slow smile crept on his face as he leered at me, geez he was making my skin crawl in the worst of ways. Just as he seemed to about to take a step closer the line thankfully moved and with it me as I shot him a final hard look before entering through Erudite's doorway.

Time actually seemed to move on a bit faster, even though that was impossible, as I waited in the slowly dwindling line until finally; finally I was next to enter through the door.

This was it.

The sharp clicking of the lock had my eyes zeroing in on the door just as a faint release of air entered the room and the door was swung open and while a few of the others hesitated, I did not. Take those few steps I was completely inside to softly lighten room. The full length mirror to my left caught my immediate attention and so did my reflection.

The determination set within my eyes could be read clear as day even in the golden light of the room until I caught sight of the person standing in the far end corner of the room with me through the mirror…my entire body tensed just as the voice broke through the silence, "Well, well, well…if it isn't the know it all."

Snapping my head to the side, causing my hair to whip about, I stared in slight shock at the man as he prowled, yes prowled, his way to stand next to an odd looking chair and a monitor; it was the Dauntless member from earlier. The one I had collided with…the one I had shoulder checked…the one I called a dick. Did the world hate me today or was I just filled with bad luck?

The first thing I noticed was his size, I mean…I noticed it before but it didn't really register right away just how much taller and larger he was. Not by means of fat, but by pure muscle that anyone with eyes could see hidden beneath the tight jacket he wore. A jacket that completed his look of hard edge if I had to give it a name, but it was his tattoos that caught my gaze next, two of them going from the beginning of his neck down wards but where they stopped I couldn't tell due to the high collar of the jacket. A chisel facial structure with a strong jaw…a sharp nose but not an odd one like I've seen on a lot of the librarians or scientists in Erudite. Blonde hair, shaved on both sides, was shaped in a slick back style, odd but seemingly fitting his style. Stud piercings in his ears stood out as well as the two on his right upper eyebrow…and then finally those eyes; grey, cold…dangerous.

My hands clenched into fists as my sides instinctually and I watched as those eyes trailed their way down to lock on them with a faint look of, amusement? Intrigue? Whatever it was I wanted nothing to do with it and so straightening my back I took a few steps forwards towards the chair, easing my way onto it with no problem at all as I kept my eyes focused on the wall in front of me as I kept myself from leaning back just yet.

The head rest was odd and unusual.

"Ok so I will be administrating your test, my name is Eric…but what was it you called me earlier? Hm?" Oh he was irritated; his tone pushed me to believe that completely as I simply offered him a look out of the corner of my eye. When I stayed quiet his eyes narrowed in on me which resulted in my body to freeze up as his practically growled out, "I asked you a question."

And then the words immediately came out of my mouth, "I called you a dick, sir." My voice void of emotion as I spoke to him in the exact way that I would answer a question my father would ask…it was purely automatic. But then I blinked, as my mind slowly came to par with the fact that my father wasn't there and that he hadn't been the one to ask me the question…Eric had. And before I knew it my mouth opened once again before I could even register what was coming out, "And here I thought only Candors were hard of hearing."

You would think for being an Erudite born that I would be wise enough to not try and piss off someone stronger than me…but I had been doing that ever since I was born apparently…it must run in my blood.

I barely registered the shock that entered Eric's eyes before it was instantly gone as he stared at me with an unknown emotion that had the hair on the back of my neck rise but I didn't dare look away. As his lips turned into a scowl, no doubt at me not cowering from him like I'm sure he is used to, he turned away from me to grab something from the cart before facing me once again and as I was too busy looking at the tiny cup in his large hold I didn't see the other hand coming near me until I was harshly pressed against the back of the chair and I couldn't stop myself from reacting.

My hand shot out immediately, the back of my fist knocking heavily against the inside of his wrist while my other hand flashed up, palm facing him, as I slammed it against the heavy material of his jacket right where his sternum would be located. It might not have actually caused him any damage what so ever like it would to someone closer to my size, but it did cause him to tense up and to halt in his movements as he glared down at me but I didn't care…he touched me.

"Don't…don't touch me again."

Once again he looked at me with those unreadable grey eyes, something I didn't like before it made me feel…uneasy, before he slowly raised the hand he had pressed against me up in the air, while the other reached towards me with the small clear glass to which I quickly took as I moved my hand on his jacket away. As I raised the glass up to my lips I could have sworn I saw a flash of a grin on his face before it disappeared as he turned away from me to check the monitor just as the cool surface touched my skin, and with a tilt of my head I downed the liquid inside.

"You'll be offered a series of choices…as you should know the test is designed to point you to one faction. The choices you make will determine that."

He kept on talking but I couldn't hear him anymore…

**oOoOo**

A mere blink of an eye was all it took. I was still in the same room but Eric and the cart along with the monitor were no longer inside the room. Carefully sliding off the chair I was surprise to not feel any pain what so ever on my body and without even thinking I looked right at the wall length mirror. Grabbing the hem of my shirt I slowly raised it up, watching with wide eyes as my tanned stomach was slowly revealed and with shock running through my body I saw that there were no marks…no scars…no bruises on my body at all. Even the gauze I had used to wrap my ribs was no longer there. The tingling, burning sensation of upcoming tears had me looking away from what my body should look like in real life and it was as I turned away from the mirror completely did I find two items present when they were not there just moments ago.

_**Choose.**_

The voice of the Dauntless member echoed around the room as I stared at the two items; one being a large steak and the other a long silver knife.

I don't know why it was I had to choose between the two, but whatever the reason I would not be stuck with a slab of meat…so I instantly reached out and grabbed ahold of the smooth handle of the knife just as a low, vicious growl echoed inside the room that had my very breath pausing in my lungs.

Moving slowly I turned to face what stood behind me, eyes widening slightly at the very large, very angry canine that stood with its head lowered, ears back and teeth bared. And what big teeth they were…and sharp…

I knew right there and then what had to happen. Either it was going to kill me…or, clenching the handle tightly, I was going to kill it. Could I though? I had never killed anything in my life…so how could I fight this dog and actually kill it?

The canine decided he had waited long enough.

With a thundering bark he lunged and I barely had enough time to react to his movement as I dodged that attack, the breath getting knocked out of me as I slammed against a cool surface that I didn't even have time to glance at as I brought the knife up, hand gripping the handle firmly as the blade rested gently against my forearm while my other hand was raised out in a sort of protective way…I can do this…I can do this.

Breathe!

Taking a deep breath I narrowed my eyes at the large black dog, I couldn't tell what breed it was but I did know for certain that it was one used to take down its prey with its sheer weight and power…but I was fast.

It darted towards me once again, but this time I wasn't going to dodge. Quickly scooting back one foot I braced myself for the impact as the dog lunged, and as it neared me I reached out with my free hand…not thinking but reacting on pure instinct, as I snagged the coat just beneath its chin and with my other I shot the knife out, swirling it about so the dagger was the first thing to slam deeply into the dog. Its yelp echoing along with my cry as we both went down, crashing onto the hard ground.

I panicked as the dog still moved about on top of me and letting go of the knife's handle I shoved him away with all my might, sending the body to slid across the floor with a trail of blood following.

Oh my…

My eyes widen as the dog laid there on its side, my knife still lodged within its ribs all the way with just the handle sticking out and before I even knew what was going on I was sliding over towards it, my adrenaline rushing within me as I reached out and grabbed a hold of the knife and just as I was about to pull it out the dog swung its jaws at me to which I had no time to try and pull away. Pain seared through my arm as I raised it up just in time to protect my face, my cry echoing out as the dogs large teeth sunk easily through my jacket and down past my skin in its firm hold. Anger though…was quick to rise up within me as I fought through the pain and ignored the snarls ripping from the canine's throat as I tore the knife out and without thinking, only going through the motions; I sent the tip of the blade deep into its neck.

**oOoOo**

Strong hands held my shoulders down as I tried to shoot up from my lying position, a choked gasp escaping me as my eyes snapped open only to snap close as the golden light surrounding the room burned my sensitive pupils.

"Breath, take deep breaths."

Breathing…why was breathing so difficult at the moment? Should be something simple, instinctual…yet I was breathing too quickly to get in any oxygen and I knew I was about to go into a panic attack if I didn't do something about it. Fighting in Eric's hold I shimmied my way out of the chair, needing the open space to calm myself down while I tried to ignore the feeling of eyes upon my person as I paced back and forth while working to gain back my rhythm of breathing.

I had read that each person reacted differently to the serum when awakening…but I never expected to react this way. It was like…holding your breath while under water until the point you come close to passing out only to finally be allowed to surface again.

As I finally calmed myself down I gently ran a hand through my hair, turning to face the blonde man as I quietly asked, "What was my result?" I cringed at the way my voice cracked slightly.

For a second Eric stayed silent, looking at me with a calculating look before glancing over at the monitor and only then did he open his mouth…and oh how I wish he hadn't.

"Why did you look surprise when you lifted your shirt up?" A question…a demand…coming from him it sounded like a mixture of both but more leaning towards the demand.

Every hair on my body stood on end as I raised my eyes to his, how did he….no…could they actually _see _what was going on during the test? Feeling my heart rate pick up as he continued to stare at me I merely shrugged, no way in hell would I actually tell anyone about what was hidden underneath my clothes. "What was my result?" This time I was proud that my voice didn't crack, but instead stayed firm.

A studded brow rose at my tone but I didn't care, I wanted my question answered. I had been waiting for this day for a long time and no jerk was going to keep it away any longer. I didn't want to be in Erudite anymore…but if my test pointed towards it then…what choice did I truly have? Yes they say that you are free to pick which Faction you truly want to be in but the test was to show me where I belonged. I didn't want to belong to Erudite…I wanted to belong…-

"Dauntless."

Whoa…what? Turning my eyes back onto Eric I stood there stiffly as I took in his words but somehow they didn't seem to make any sense, "W-what?"

Crossing his arms over his chest Eric rolled his eyes at me before repeating, "I said, your result came out as Dauntless. I didn't know Erudite's became hard of hearing as well." A curl of his lip was all I received as stood there in shock.

How could I, a girl who couldn't even fight against her abusive father, be brave enough to earn a Dauntless result?

The sound of a door opening had me glancing over to the opposite wall where Eric was leaning against the open frame, only when I looked his way did he nod towards the open door, "Leave."

My feet were moving on the command while my brain still processed what was happening…but before I could exit a strong grip on my arm forced me to come to a stop as I immediately tensed under the hold whole turning to glare at the scowling male, my mouth opening to tell him to release me when his voice cut me off.

"You never answered my question. I don't like to be kept waiting."

I didn't need to be told which question I didn't answer…and if he really thought I was going to tell him then he had another thing coming. Snarling at him I tore my arm away from his hold, "Get used to it." When he went to grab a hold of me again I snapped, slapping his hand aside, though in all honestly that action hurt me most of all…I doubted it did anything to him, "Stop touching me!"

And then before anything else could happen I turn and ran like that canine was hot on my heels.

* * *

So there we have it! Chapter 1, I would like to point out that abuse, of any kind!, is NOT OK! It is a serious matter and not to be taken lightly.

Review please to let me know what you all think ^.^ Chapter 2 will be up soon.


	2. The Choosing Ceremony

This Is Me

HOLY CRAP! It's 2:20 AM where I'm at...I've been working off and on on this since around 4 PM and now I am finally finished with chapter 2! ^.^

Disclaimer: No I do not own any of the original characters or cast members :( if I did Eric would be mine (insert my most evilest of laughs with a hint of sexiness) I do however own any and all OC's in this story.

Warning: There will be adult language, adult content and a whole bunch of sassiness in this story so just be prepared. For any gory or sexual scenes I will put up a warning. So then you can read at your own risk.

Notes: Thank you to all who have reviewed, added me to your favorites and for following this story. You guys rock ^.^ On a quick note please be aware that I may not be able to update back to back, and with how my job is there may be times I won't update after a week. DO NOT WORRY! That doesn't mean its going to take me a whole month to put up one chapter because that is not the case! I promise and if for some reason I can't update after a while I will warn you guys a head of time since you know sometimes life just does the unexpected and there isn't anything you can really do :/ but so far don't worry ^.^ updates will be weekly or almost daily...depending on when I get home and what I am able to write.

SPOILER ALERT! ***Ok so yes this chapter is all about the choosing ceremony and Beatrice finally comes in this chapter! So if you haven't actually watched to movie (its what I'm basing it off of) then just...idk...watch the movie if you're able to...or not...just read and enjoy ^.^

* * *

The walk to the choosing ceremony was anything but pleasant for Suzane as she trailed behind her father by exactly three feet.

Though her head was bent that didn't stop her from glaring at the ground while wishing it was the back of his head but honestly she wouldn't take the chance of doing so, even if they were in a crowd of people who knew what he would do if he truly had the desire to harm her again.

The bastard had gotten her in the forearm, stomping on it hard enough that it swelled and bruised almost immediately afterwards. That was something he hadn't done since she was little, when all she had back then to wear were skirts and dresses and one of the teachers brought it to his attention did he learn to never hit her anywhere visible again; until that morning…

Today Suzane was dressed in her best clothing, same as all the other Faction teens were, her dress a long sleeved, royal blue stopping just a few inches above her knees and was stuck to her like a second layer, the entire dress seeming to glitter in the sun. Some might had thought it scandalous had she not worn her black tights beneath it so her skin wasn't actually showing. The neckline was simple enough, scooping low to show off her collarbone but not too low to show off any cleavage, which she was fine with. Her ankle high boots were heeled and were the same color as her dress. To top it all off she added a white waist belt to her outfit, showing off what little curves she had.

As the two Bartons weaved their way through the throng of people at a brisk pace it didn't take them long at all to reach the building. Upon entering Suzane realized just how loud everyone was being, causing her to grit her teeth as everyone tried to speak over one another.

A sudden wolf whistle went out in the air that had her automatically snapping her head up from its slight bent position to glance over to her right. It didn't take long to realize that some of the guys, and a girl?, were staring at her and Suzane couldn't stop her eyes from narrowing at smirks plastered on their faces.

Of course…Dauntless.

"Looking good there, know it all…shame about the tights though."

A flash of heat crossed over her cheeks as Suzane made to tell the out spoken member just where to shove his comment only to catch her father giving her _that _look over his shoulder, the look that instantly had her snapping her mouth shut and turning her head forwards to bend it slightly so she was once again looking at the ground.

Never once noticing the grey eyes that followed after every movement from the top of the stairs, taking in her reaction with a keen eye before they disappeared around the corner.

"Ah, good evening Alexander, how are you doing?" A cool, charming voice had Suzane glancing up through her lashes as she and her father came to a stop, this time with her moving to stand next to him but still at the appropriate distance. Jeanine Matthews…leader of Erudite and a brilliant woman stood before them in her perfectly tailors blue dress.

Nodding his head towards the blonde woman Alex offered back, "Good evening to you as well Jeanine, we are doing rather well, thank you. And yourself?"

It took everything within Suzane not to scoff at her father's pleasant tone but listened silently as Jeanine replied back her own answer until suddenly the voice was being directed towards herself, "So this is your daughter, she is lovely…get her looks after Angela, rest her soul. I've heard a lot about your scores in class…what's your name?"

Turning jade eyes up to the woman's neck Suzane's reply came out casual yet respectful, "Suzane, ma'am."

Smiling at the girls manners Jeanine offered out a hand and only when the teen reached out to shake it did she say, "You can call me Jeanine, I wish you the best of luck in choosing today but I also want you to know that whatever you choose I am sure your talents will shine through." As the teens eyes widen and locked straight with her own blue eyes Jeanine softly smiled again before she and her colleges made their way towards the center stage.

Watching her go Suzane couldn't help but smile at her words…they were actually nice and she didn't hear an ounce of sarcasm or deceit in them…but then she had to be brought back to the present by a hard grip on her forearm that had her biting back a cry as Alex tightened his hold over her injured arm.

Shit…she should have known he would have seen her mistake. It was one thing to look others in the eyes when she was alone…but with him present? That was like asking for a beating…

Fighting against the need to squirm out of his crushing hold Suzane was left little choice in the matter as he all but dragged her towards the Erudite section before finding a spot for the two to take a seat in. As she quickly took her place in the cushioned seat her father was quick to lean in close, causing her entire body to tense up in slight fear.

Making sure to keep his voice low to no one would overhear, "You will _not_ embarrass me today, Suzane. I forbid it…do you understand?" The whole time he snarled out his hand slowly tightened over her arm, causing her to fight against flinching as she quickly nodded her head while whispering out, "Yes, sir!"

Anything…she would have said anything to get him to release his hold on her and luckily he did just in time for the ceremony to begin as Jeanine took her place at center stage.

The whole speech didn't register within Suzane's mind as she sat there in a stiff seated position, her back straight and neck elegantly bent so she was looking at her clasped hands resting on her lap. Poised and perfect…just how he liked when they were in public.

'_I can't live like this…even if I did stay with Erudite I would be around him at some point…I would never be free.'_ She wouldn't and she knew that deep down, no matter what she would never be able to truly grow so long as she knew her father was somewhere in the same sector as her.

She was tired of being afraid of someone who was supposed to look after her, someone who was supposed to love her and show her how to be an adult. It wasn't like she asked for her mother to die giving birth to her, hell if she had known this was how her life would turn up she probably would have tried dying herself.

"Caleb Prior."

The name meant nothing to her as she kept her head down but the sounds of his footsteps echoing across the room before coming to a stop all together. At that point she knew he was standing before the five bowls…but what would he choo- "Erudite." As the same with all the other initiates who chose her home Faction she, along with everyone else, politely clapped and welcomed the transfer with a professional greeting.

"Beatrice Prior."

The silence once more fell into play as the sister of Caleb moved slowly towards the stage, her eyes locked onto the bowls and all too soon Beatrice was standing before the table. Carefully picking up the knife she flinched as the tip of the blade broke through the fleshy part of her palm before placing it back down on the plate. And then she froze, it literally hit her that this was it…the time to decide where she would belonged was now. Green eyes scanning over the bowls as she thought to herself, _'Am I kind, smart, brave, truthful…or selfless…'_ Taking a deep breath as time seemed to literally go on forever Beatrice acted before her blood could drip into the bowl that held the stones she held her hand over the one with the steaming coals and as soon as the blood drop fell onto one she heard Markus call out, "Dauntless."

Immediately the crowd of black went up in hollers and cheers as the Abnegation born slowly turned to walk over towards their section, receiving pats on the back in congratulations in the process.

She didn't dare look towards her parent's direction, the guilt eating away at her but she had made her choice and would stick with it.

"Suzane Barton."

At the sound of her name Suzane snapped her head up; kohl rimmed jade eyes locking onto the council members before she slowly rose from her seated position along with her father as he stepped out to allow her out into the isle. As she passed him Alex placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, to others looking it would seem like a normal scene, a father giving his child an encouraging pat…but Suzane knew better since it was her that felt the warning and threat in his harsh hold before she moved away.

The only sound that penetrated the silence was the harsh clicking of her heels as she made her way down the stairs of the seating areas before walking back up to stage on the stage. Her shoulders were squared, back straight and head held high as she moved across the marble floors with a grace she had been forced to have when in public. Least she make a fool of her father…

Suzane made the mistake of glancing up at the Abnegation man who offered her a smile to which she returned with a bland look.

She had heard rumors of the man…Markus…beating his son some years ago. While rumors were just as they were that didn't Suzane from not liking him because there was that chance that they were true.

'_Just breathe…breathe…'_ Following her own advice Suzane hesitated in picking up the knife, practically feeling her father's hate filled gaze on the back of her head as she sliced the palm of her hand open without so much of a flinch as immediately her blood rushed up to the wound.

Placing the knife back in its place she glanced between the bowls, her heart seeming to pick up just as her breathing did as she stood there in the growing silence. Her eyes darted over to the Amity bowl, _'I can be kind but I would never fit in with those who are lovey dovey when I never even experienced that feeling before…'_ as her eyes turned to the Candor bowl she thought, _'I can fit in there, I already say what I want most of the time.'_

Passing completely over the Erudite bowl Suzan stared at the Abnegation bowl,_ 'I could never do what they do…I could not be selfless.'_ And then finally her eyes came to Dauntless' bowl and Eric's voice echoed within her mind of her test result…she had gotten Dauntless as her result…but could she fit in with that Faction?

So…the choice was between Candor and Dauntless.

And as she glanced between the two a thought entered her mind, _'I don't want to be afraid of anyone anymore.'_

The sharp sizzling sound echoed through her head as her blood dropped onto the heated coals just as Markus announced, "Dauntless."

Instantly a murmur went about Erudite right before the Dauntless members went up in woops and shouts in excitement for a new initiate. Turning on her heels Suzane slowly walked her way across the stage towards the loud group, keeping her eyes straight ahead but as the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end she slowly glanced towards her father out of the corner of her eye.

What she saw made her blood freeze within her veins.

The sheer look of pure fury was visible on Alex's face as he glared at her had her nearly tripping down the stairs as she came to the edge of the stage and only then did she break off the glance to focus on the now.

'_He can't hurt me anymore…he can't touch me anymore…I am Dauntless…not Erudite.'_

Her ears rang with the loudness around her but Suzane tried to smile at those who greeted her but no doubt it looked forced upon her face as one of the guys offered her a seat…right next to the Abnegation transfer.

"Hi…"

Glancing over to her side Suzane met the unsure stare of the other girl, her own green eyes lighter than her own and merely offering her a slight nod and a soft 'hello' in return the two girls turned their attention back to the stage as another teen came up to the stage.

All too soon the ceremony was finished and all that was left to do afterwards was leave with each teens chosen Faction to being the initiations.

Standing up together both Beatrice and Suzane walked within the crowd, their outfits standing out in the sea of blacks and reds, and while Beatrice glanced back towards her grief stricken parents, Suzane made sure to not even try and glance in her father's direction as the Dauntless members walked down the halls before bursting out of the building with energetic shouts and cries.

And then suddenly they were jogging.

'_Shit, jogging in heels…really?'_ Luckily though, her dress allowed her the room to move her legs since the material was stretchable as she lightly struggled to keep with those who wore pants or longer dresses and let's not forget flat shoes.

"Wrong day to wear heels apparently, huh Barton?"

Oh no…wanting it to be some sick joke Suzane turned her head to the side and met the arrogant smirk of the Candor boy from the day before. Keeping his pace easily with hers Peter roamed over her slender figure with greedy eyes as he grinned her way, "Surprised you even picked Dauntless…what? Daddy's home isn't good enough for you anymore?"

The words were like a slap to her face and anger was quick to rise within her as Suzane retaliated in a subtle way, since his focus was on her face to watch her reaction Peter never noticed her shifting her foot in his path until he was tripping and then colliding with the harsh pavement.

Glaring over her shoulder Suzane didn't care about the insults he threw her way as he scrambled to pick himself up, "Go fuck yourself, Candor."

A few laughs went up around her but the one closest to her had her attention as she turned to look at the blonde haired girl running next to her give her a look of approval to which she offered a small smirk in return.

But all too soon they came to a stop beneath the train tracks and the momentary confusion was wiped clean as both she and Beatrice watched those born in Dauntless climb up the metal railings that lead to the tracks up above.

Moving automatically Suzane made to follow just as Beatrice did, each girl gaining their own railing and while they both did it their own way in no time both made it up on the tracks.

Wiping her hands together to rid herself of the peeling yellow paint Suzane glanced down each direction that the tracks lead before feeling the ground begin to shake of the approaching train. Glancing over at Beatrice she asked, "So they want us to just hop on?" The train never stopped so that seemed like the only logical explanation.

Glancing at the brunette Beatrice shrugged, "I guess…"

Turned out Suzane was both right and wrong at the same time because all too soon the train was in view and then the Dauntless born were running, yes, running down the tracks just as the head of the train passed them.

Now jogging was hard enough in heels but running? That was like asking for a broken ankle as Suzane pushed herself to keep up with the pack, jade eyes watching sharply how each member hopped on and as she pumped her arms Suzane pushed herself to go faster as her eyes locked onto their target; an open door.

She wasn't going to give up…no…she was going to push through and make it damn it!

Reaching out her fingers just skimmed the handle and forcing her long legs to move faster she finally grabbed the handle in a firm hold before pushing herself off the ground, one foot latching into the small foot latch provided before swinging her way inside the door before landing in an awkward stumble that had her bumping into a few of the others.

Luckily though, they merely righted her while giving her a hard look before going about their own thing.

She was turning to face the door right when the Abnegation came falling in and while a few of the others laughed or chuckled, Suzane went to offer her a hand. Why? Because she wasn't a cruel person by natural and the girl actually seemed nice.

With a small thanks Beatrice took the offered hand and stood up, while the train shook beneath their feet it didn't cause them to stumble about or anything like that.

"Awe look at this…getting friendly with the Stiffs I see." Peter sneered at the two girls though mostly it was directed towards the girl from Erudite since she was the one who had tripped him.

Turning to glare over at the teen Suzane made to say something but a gentle hand on her arm had her stiffening as she glanced over at the blonde girl who merely shook her head, "Don't…he's not even worth it."

Removing herself from Beatrice's hold without trying to seem rude Suzane merely gave a nod of her head in a silent agreement.

From up ahead in the train a female Dauntless initiate shouted out, "Hey! Get ready!"

All heads turned towards the front of the train as those who were not Dauntless born were wondering what exactly they were to get ready for. Well…that answer came soon enough as Beatrice glanced out through the open door, taking a quick look at the flying by ground that laid several stories down before turning her attention to the sudden shout.

Needless to say she was not expecting people to just begin jumping out of the train to land on top of a roof with a good six, maybe seven, foot gap.

"They are jumping."

Blinking at those words Suzane narrowed her eyes slightly before saying, "Come again?" No way…no way were people actually jumping; but a quick glance out the door sure did prove her wrong as she watched those in the front carts leap from their doors. Some making the jump while others barely made it over the ledge and then there were those who hit the ledge and barely managed to hang on.

"Shit…"

"Oh don't tell me _the_ Barton is afraid of jumping out of a train."

She was going to hit him…no…she was going to shove him off the train…yeah….that idea sounded much more appealing.

Turning to face the Candor boy Suzane placed her hands on her waist, jade eyes glaring at him and the other Candor he was alongside but whereas Peter was all but looking smug, Al wasn't. Completely ignoring him Suzane crossed her way towards the opposite side of the train where the open door was at, hands reaching down for the hem of her dress and knowing that with its length now it would hinder her movement to jump, began rolling it up while snarling at those who whistled at her.

Idiots…the lot of them.

Only once the dress allowed her the freedom of movement did she stop rolling, leaving the bottom of it to know just barely cover her rear as Beatrice moved towards her, a light flush on her face at the show, asking, "Together?"

A part of Suzane wondered why she should even really bother staying alongside the other girl…she never really had friends and so why start now? But then that other side of her told her that this was a fresh start…her new life, hopefully, and that maybe making friends wasn't such a bad thing. And so Suzane merely gave Beatrice a nod of her head and just as the two Candor boys landed, the two girls were off.

Now jogging in heels was a slight challenge, climbing in heels was a bitch, running in heels was asking for a twisted or sprained ankle…and now jumping….jumping out of a train, a moving on at that, in heels was just asking for death to take her.

But they both made it.

The impact was rough and not at all smooth like some of the others, having not been able to properly try and land since that was her first time jumping out of a train and all…so the two girls were sent rolling onto the rocky roof top, each one grunting as they did so.

Climbing to her feet Suzane brushed away the little pebbles that stayed on her dress as Beatrice did the same with her grey jacket. Feeling the stray hairs falling around her face she wasted no time in removing the pins that held her hair at the back of her neck, allowing her hair to fall down her back in a slight wave while at the same time combing her hands through the strands to get rid of any knots that made themselves at home.

"Alright listen up." A deep, echoing voice broke over the murmurs on the rooftop, the authority held within that voice instantly caused everyone to quiet down but for Suzane it caused her blood to freeze as her eyes widen in memory.

That voice…

Turning her body towards the voice Suzane barely felt her companion gently tugging her along towards the rest of the group who were already huddled around three figures. Two of which were standing off to the sides while the third…the third was standing higher up on a ledge and though Suzane knew she would eventually see him again she never thought it would be so soon!

"I'm Eric; I'm one of your leaders."

Holy shit! Now that she had not at all considered! The past twenty-four hours came back in a rush as her mind threw out her colliding with him, calling him a dick, shoving past him….then meeting him in the test room, snapping at him, the insult of him being hard of hearing, shoving his hand away, and then of course her yelling and then running.

The fates were cruel to her indeed.

Glancing over this year's initiates Eric glared at each and every one of them, even the Dauntless born. There were no rooms for favorites when it came to this time of the year…hold up now…halting his scan Eric caught sight of a familiar face and he couldn't help but inwardly smirk at the sight of the girl from the aptitude test…the one who called him a dick to his face and then yelled at him later on. _'So she chose Dauntless did she? Fucking interesting.' _

Turning back to the group he watched as her face paled at his stare as he continued on, "If you want to enter Dauntless, then this is the way in," shifting his body so that he pointed over the ledge, "And if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in Dauntless."

And then he waited for some person to make some dumb ass remark about what was at the bottom…

Turns out he didn't have to wait too long and he turned his attention to the male Erudite transfer who asked about whether or not there was water or something at the bottom. Offering the teen a raised studded brow Eric only answered, "Guess you'll find out," and when the boy just gave a worried look he added on just for the hell of it, "Or not…"

Suzane and Beatrice were so busy focusing on what was being said that they didn't see the third person walk over to them until a voice whispered out, startling both girls, "We just jumped off a train…now he wants us to jump off a building?" Both girls turned to see a petit Candor girl giving them a disbelief look. "Hi, I'm Christina."

As Beatrice gave her name, Suzane followed suite, only because it seemed like the polite thing to do since Christina offered her name first.

Once more Eric's strong voice rose in the air, causing their attention to turn back to him, "So…somebody has to go first, so who is it gonna be?" His rigid stance and predatory eyes scanned the crowd, looking for any takers to be the first jumper.

Apparently he didn't need to have someone announce their decision for movement in the back had him zeroing in on the moving body and at the sight of who it was Eric couldn't stop the mocking grin from appearing on his face. "Ah well if it isn't the only female Erudite transfer," his grey eyes roamed over her figure, taking notice of the rolled up dress and the heels and while raising a brow asked, "You wore fucking heels?"

Narrowing her eyes at the ground, they had moved to glance down almost as soon as she learned that he was one of the leaders…a person who was not to be taken lightly it seemed. How and why she even moved to go first she didn't know, call it instinct…a reaction or whatever it was she just did it, "And ran and climbed and jumped off a train in them, yes."

"Are you talking to me or to the ground, Initiate? Look the fuck up." His voice turned to an annoyed growl as she kept her eyes glued to the ground instead of on him.

She tensed at his tone but did as he said without hesitation, only this time making sure to keep her eyes focused on his tattooed neck instead of at his eyes, "I'm talking to you, sir," her voice terse and once again void of emotion, just like she had been taught.

Taking that step down from the ledge Eric prowled over towards her, glaring down at her and inwardly laughing at how uncomfortable he knew he was making her as he lowered his voice even more, "Aren't you just full of surprises…" That certainly had her snapping her eyes up to lock onto his, and he was glad she was an Erudite because only she would understand the hidden message in his words and with the way he spoke them; and while for a moment a flash of fear crossed her eyes it was quick to be replaced by anger as she stormed over to the ledge.

Gritting her teeth to keep herself in check Suzane carefully placed one foot on the ledge before slowly forcing the rest of her body to follow suite, balancing on a slopped ledge in heels was no easy feat and how she actually managed to do so was a mystery as she looked straight down into the seemingly bottomless pit that she was supposed to jump into.

She knew though, without a doubt, that they weren't going to kill them, so why bother making them jump if there wasn't going to be anything below? Sure it was dark and she couldn't see anything but that wasn't to say that there wasn't anything not down there. This was a test and she was going to show them that she was not to be taken lightly.

"Today, Initiate…or do you need to take off the heels first?" Crossing his arms Eric watched as she turned to glance over her shoulder and in a move that slightly impressed him, had turned on her heels in a one hundred and eighty degree angle so she was now facing them to say, "And here I thought I was full of surprises…"

As soon as the words left her mouth Suzane allowed her body to tip backwards, forcing gravity to do its job and force her down as she closed her eyes as one second she was upright and standing…and then the very next she was air borne and falling.

And falling….and falling and just as her lips parted to take an intake of air to scream as her stomach chose that moment to feel as though it was about to heave up her throat, her body collided with something firm yet soft and flexible. And for a moment she thought she was done but a second later her body was being flung upwards and that certainly had her eyes snapping open as a small shriek escaped her mouth as she came back down once more only to be sent up again, only this time it wasn't as high as the first time and then all was still.

Her hands immediately reached out to her sides and felt the thick rope that held her body up from the ground…she was right…something was down there to catch them. Trying to calm her racing heart Suzane glanced to her left just as the sound of boots made their presence known and then she was being rolled over to the side as someone pulled down on the end of the net. Looking up she was met with the strong features of a dark haired, brown eyed man who stared at her silently for a moment before offering her a hand, to which she took and a few short moments later she was off the net and standing before the Dauntless man.

"So did you enjoy your fall?"

His voice was deep, yet held a slight accent to it but his choice of words had her raising a brow before answering, "Yes, actually, I did." Maybe that seemed to be the right answer or maybe her tone was what had him smirking slightly before he asked her for her name. Opening her mouth she went to say it but for but a second she choked on nothing but air…and seeing her hesitation he offered out, "You can change it if you want, make it good though because you won't be changing it again."

Change her name? Was it really as simple as that? Biting her lip as she glanced down at the ground Suzane couldn't help but be a bit excited at the information…this really was a fresh start for her…to never be tied to her father anymore even through her name…she could and would be finally free from him. One single name popped out at her as she thought that to herself and looking up at the Dauntless member she offered a slight smile as she said, "Audrey…my name is Audrey."

Nodding his head at the information he turned to the others, who she just now took notice of, and announced out, "First jumper; Audrey." Turning to glance at the girl before him he offered her a slight grin and said, "Welcome to Dauntless."

* * *

Alright! So now her name is officially being changed to Audrey! Remember that dear readers ^.^

Also please review to let me know your thoughts on the story...did you like it in this point of view or was first better?


	3. Dauntless

**This Is Me**

Hey so here is chapter 3! Please forgive the endings choppiness and its slighter shortness...I received some sad news as I was writing and I just wanted to go to bed afterwards but I really wanted to get this up for you guys because you have been amazing and I want to thank you for those who have reviewed, followed and added this story to your favorites. It really makes me smile whenever I see that ^.^

**Disclaimer:** Nope...no ownership here over Divergent or the characters but I do own any and all OC's in this story.

**Warning:** Nothing much happening in this chapter, kinda a filler I guess? But needed. Language is present so be warned.

**Notes:** Let me know what you all think ^.^

* * *

In hindsight jumping off the roof the way she did may not have been the brightest of ideas because as the others began making their journey down the adrenaline started to wear off and then the pain of her forearm and rib started to make themselves known.

Tris, formally known as Beatrice, stood at Audrey's side along with Christina, out of the three of them she had opted to keep her given name, as everyone began forming a small group while not spreading out like they all had done one the roof. Names being called out for each jumper and Audrey couldn't help the sneer that crossed her face as the annoying Candor boy, Peter she found out, had actually managed to jump as well.

"Alright, shut it!"

At the Dauntless members voice everyone was quick to silence their mouths as they gave the taller male their attention, "Dauntless born follow Lauren, the rest you stay here with me. Go." As more than half the group disappeared with one of the older Dauntless female members Four turned towards the rest, "Now most of the time I work in Intelligence, but for the remaining of this Initiation I will be one of your leaders…my name's Four."

That certainly had Christina scoffing out loud, "Four…like the number?" To which Four nodded his head to but Audrey had been paying attention to his body language and his eyes and took notice of the rigid way he held himself while he nodded while at the same time his eyes hardened dangerously on the girl at her side.

But apparently the Candor born couldn't keep her mouth shut for she was quick to add on, "What happened one through three were taken?"

Now that was the wrong thing to say for a sharp grin spread over Four's lips before he asked out, "What's your name?" He waited silently until she gave it before closing in on the small dark skinned teen, "Well Christina…the first lesson you learn from me, you wanna survive here? You keep your mouth shut." Nearly every one flinched at his bite as he asked, "Do you understand me?"

Immediately Christina nodded, having gone pale at the very tone held within his voice as he glared down at her before slowly backing while calling everyone to follow after him.

Walking through the dimly lit hallways the group trailed after Four while taking in their surroundings with interest. The grey stone walls were lightened by lights which gave off a gentle blue hue. Tris and Audrey stayed near the front of the pack, not wanting to be near the back, and as music began to make itself known through the tunnel the two girls shared a silent look just before they all broke out of the tunnel and into a very large, opened area.

Carefully leaning onto the railing that over looked the entire floor below Audrey realized it wasn't just music that was echoing throughout the area, but shouts and people talking as well, her jade eyes skipping from one group to the next down below. It was enormous…amazing really if she thought about it and she hadn't even glanced up yet. When she did her eyes widen at the sheer height of everything. The stone walls surrounding the entire sector held stairs and hallways all over the place from what she could see, and where the sun and sky should be there was a building top, the sun streaming through the windows there.

It was beautiful in an odd, rough way.

"This is the pit, the center of life here at Dauntless." At Fours announcement she couldn't help but grin slightly as her mouth opened, "Of course it is…a fitting name for it."

Casting a lover over towards the Erudite transfer, Four had been about to say something sharp in return before he took into account that her tone hadn't been sarcastic or bitchy, but rather just stating a fact and so instead he just shook his head, "Wait till you see the dungeon. Alright lets go." As his voice rose at that last part Audrey and the group once again followed after the tall Dauntless stand in leader as he gave them the 'grand tour'.

Explaining directions as he went the best he could Four ended up just throwing in the towel as he took in most of their confused expression, they would learn eventually one way or another. Leading them into their own area he called out, "And this is where you will be staying."

Honestly the room had been pretty close to what Audrey had been imagining. Dauntless, she knew, was not like other Factions…they were tough and had an edge to them, she would have been shocked had the room been modernized and having luxuries that Erudite had.

Jade eyes glanced around taking in the dingy, slightly chilled room; it was just large enough to not feel crowded, with cement walls and floors, no colors besides black and grey themed the room.

Fine by her…but…as she counted the beds her brain brought something to her attention that was most definitely _not_ fine with her.

"Who will? Girls or boys?"

All eyes turned towards the other Erudite, tall with dark hair and intelligent eyes that clearly showed the confusion that everyone was feeling at the moment.

Audrey though had a gut feeling what the answer was and she was proven correct when Four stated, "Both."

'_This is hell…this is going to be horrible…'_ Her body seemed to agree with her at that thought as it felt like every scar, every broken or cracked rib from years of abuse and every aching and sore muscles made themselves known at that moment that had Audrey clenching both her jaw and her hands into fists at her side.

Audrey had never shared a room before, had never had to worry about someone seeing her body but now…she couldn't let anyone find out. What would they say? What would they think? Do? She felt the pinprick of panic swelling within her chest as she quickly scanned the beds once more, trying to figure out the best area in the room that would be best for her. Marking out the center ones she turned her attention to those along the wall but then there were a few in the corners…a corner one would work best.

But then Four had to make a comment about the restrooms and that had warning flags going about in her head as the group walked towards the back of the room where it broke off into what was called…the restroom or as Audrey instantly renamed it…hell's shit box.

There were no stalls! Nowhere! Not for the toilets…the showers were just out in the open and there wasn't even a place to properly change into clothing!

'_Breathe…breathe…don't panic…there is no logical reason to panic…no one else is doi-'_

"How can I shower or use the restroom when there aren't any stalls?!"

Ok…scratch that…someone else was panicking as well but whereas Audrey kept her mouth shut about it the other Candor girl spoke it with a haughty tone that had Four glaring down at her, "You're Initiates, you don't get the privilege of anything until you have earned those rights….now, does anyone else have a problem they would like to shout out or are you going to deal with what is given to you? Or…if you want you can call it quits now and leave, but if you do you're done…"

Everyone knew what that meant…Factionless.

Scanning each and every face of the Initiates Four scowled slightly before shoving off away from the sinks, "Get dressed and meet in the dining hall."

Almost as soon as the words 'get dressed' left his mouth Audrey was all but booking it towards the bed she had mentally claimed as hers, ignoring all the odd looks being sent her way in the process. Upon reaching the bed Audrey gratefully took note that it was slightly the side she had chosen was slightly dimmer then the rest of the room and she also took notice of a pile of neatly, surprisingly, folded clothes on the simple black sheets.

Lifting up the first item she fingered the material, taking in its light weight and when she pulled at it noticed its flexibility. Nice.

A noise behind her had Audrey turning around, clothes in hand, to catch Tris shifting through the clothes on her bed, which she picked to be right next to her own, before glancing around the room at everyone else to see that some were already either beginning to change or were also looking through their own clothes.

Once more turning towards her own Audrey pulled out a pair of pants, a shirt and a jacket before making her way towards the restrooms.

"What's wrong, afraid of us seeing your body?"

Not in the mood to talk back Audrey held up her middle finger towards the direction the voice came from, earning a few chuckles and a 'bitch' as a result. "Leave her alone man," Al's remark earned him a glare from Peter and in return the other Candor born returned to getting dressed.

Slipping behind the separate wall where she was halfway hidden from the others Audrey went to work on changing as quickly as she could, sliding off her boots and then shedding her tights before putting on the pants, which actually felt pretty good on her; not too tight but also weren't completely baggy on her either, the material felt light and breathable yet Audrey had a feeling the fabric was stronger than it seemed.

Placing the shirt and jacket between her legs Audrey gently began removing the dress up and off of her body, holding her breath as her torso stretched causing her body to spasm slightly in pain before being free from the dress completely. Glancing down at her wrapped rib cage Audrey wondered if she should remove it before shrugging that aside in favor of pulling on the dark grey shirt over her head, wincing once more, before pulling the hem down. The shirt was the same as the pants, light and thin, not at all skin tight but not baggy either…it was just right in her opinion.

"Audrey?"

At the sound of her name she whipped her head up, jade eyes locking onto light mint ones that lowered on her body and when Audrey glanced down to see what Tris was looking at she reacted quickly by throwing her jacket on.

She had seen her arm; no doubt she had been slightly alarmed by the discoloration and jus the sheer size of it.

"Is that from the jump? Did you hit it on something?"

"Shh!" throwing a finger up to her lips Audrey glared at the blonde before shaking her head, "No…don't worry about it. It happened the other day…I fell down the stairs at the library. Too many books, you know?" Then before Tris could say anything Audrey was gathering up her fallen clothing before making her way towards her, eyes taking in her altered appearance as well before asking, "You ready?"

Nodding her head Tris turned and followed the rest who had begun to leave as well, only stopping to gather her old clothes as well before continuing on her way with Audrey right behind who had quickly stopped to slip on socks and combat boots. One by one the Initiates were told to throw their belongings into the fire pit, saying that they were Dauntless now…they had no right needing to own anything from their old Factions.

While Tris was slightly reluctant in her own way to just throw her stuff in, Audrey had no such problems as she all but chucked them in before walking away.

Upon entering the dining hall the transfer Initiates all hesitated before moving in, the lights in the room a neon reddish orange instead of the blue, though Tris, Audrey and Christina were more cautious in doing so. They didn't know anyone other than those who they came with…but it was like school all over again. But one thing Audrey took into count was the music…and no it wasn't the loud, head banging music from the pit…but actual, true music of someone singing right there…somewhere.

Jade eyes glanced up in search for the source only to give up upon seeing the second level above…if the music was playing it was most likely coming from there.

Feeling eyes on her throughout the journey into the room Audrey turned her head to glare at those who openly stared at her, boldly showing them that she didn't care if they looked but damn it she was not going to be intimidated by them!

"You do realize that in doing that you're asking for a death wish, right?" Christina asked looking up at the Erudite born at her side, watching as those jade eyes turned on her chocolate ones before turning to stare blankly at Tris' back.

Finally after what seemed like ages, when in reality it had only been a mere few seconds, the trio finally found a spot that would fit them all…right next to Four.

Peachy.

Nodding her head Audrey silently told Tris that she could go first, before sliding in next and then Christina following with a slight smirk at Tris tensing at being so close to the taller Dauntless male.

Immediately all three dug into what was offered on the table, though Tris kept glancing down at her burger which had Christina asking, "Have you seen a hamburger before?"

Flushing slightly the Abnegation born shrugged her shoulders; "I've seen them…just…never actually had one."

"Abnegation eat plain food, more of a plant base diet."

All three girls turned their attention to the person in front of them, Aubrey recognizing that sort of tone and the more she glanced at him the more familiar he looked but she just couldn't place a name with his face.

Snorting, Christina offered him a raised brow, "And what kind of text book did you eat for breakfast?"

'_Candors…'_ Mentally rolling her eyes Audrey shook her head before focusing on her food, trying to ignore the slight rumble of her stomach in doing so.

Smiling at the girls Will introduced himself as well as his home Faction to which Christina playfully rolled her eyes while saying, "Of course you are."

As the two went back and forth at one another it was Four who snapped out, "I don't want to hear about your old Factions…you're Dauntless now, got it?" Immediately it went silent to which Audrey was thankful for before Tris asked, "Were you Dauntless born or a transfer?"

'_Apparently I'm not the only one with a death wish…'_ Shaking her head the jade eyed girl cut another small piece of meat and took the bite.

Giving Tris a sharp look Four asked, "Are you kidding me?"

And Tris being…well…Tris, really thought he meant that question for both her brows rose and her eyes went wide as she said, "N-no…"

"What makes you think you can talk to me?"

Now that had Audrey lowering her fork to glare over at the Dauntless man, who the hell did he think he was? Sure he might be older than them by a year or two but damn…he didn't need to be nasty to Tris for asking a simple question…no matter how idiotic it might be.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something smart, Tris beat her to it as she quietly said, "Must be because you're so approachable…"

At that Audrey along with everyone else couldn't help but chuckle at before suddenly a loud, booming voice echoed through the dining hall that had all eyes turning up to look at a large, menacing looking dark skinned man who was peering down at everyone below.

Introducing himself as Max, the Leader of Dauntless, he told the Initiates to stand, which they all did, and began speaking of what it meant to be Dauntless, what to expect and what it was they stood for. Going on and on that to Audrey it just seemed to run all together but she listened silently and stood with her back straight and head high to look up at the, dare she say, intimidating man.

"Do us proud…"

Those words were followed by clapping and loud cheers coming from the members all over the room and as Tris and Christina glanced at one another and smiled, Audrey was still looking up towards Max for a moment longer before the pin prick of the feeling of someone watching her had the Erudite born cutting her gaze towards the side of the room she caught the gaze of the one Dauntless member she didn't want anything to do with.

Eric.

Giving him a bland look in regards to his narrowed gaze Audrey was abruptly brought back to the now as hands suddenly grabbed at her, resulting in her to tense and to pull away instantly only to feel more touching her. Jerking her eyes away from Eric who kept at his place leaning against one of the many walls of the room, watching…to glare at those who were around her.

It only took her a moment to realize that the members were raising the Initiates in the air to do some sort of crowd surfing as the music kicked back on but Audrey wanted no part of it.

"Don't touch me…don't! Stop- Hey!" Her voice rose with each word as men and woman tried to get her up with the others but she was not going to have it. Panic set in as she realized she was literally surrounded and baring her teeth her eyes turned feral as her instincts all but screamed 'run' and 'get the fuck out of there'…and so she did.

She couldn't breathe…she couldn't see anything except black, red, purple and grey of the colors from the other members…she couldn't hear anything besides the own beating of her heart and blood racing within her body…

Those who were too busy to notice her shimmering through paid her no mind as they enjoyed themselves, having waited for the time for the Initiates to come to care about one person at the moment.

Sweet air swept through her lungs just as she broke through the last line of people but just before she could escape a hold around her arm had her snapping out a cry of pain left her lips as the person grabbed a hold of her injured arm. She quickly twisted around and threw out her free arm to shove, hard, at the person who held her while snarling out, "Let me go asshole!" and ignoring their profanity directed towards her Audrey turned tail and ran once she was free.

She didn't care that she was the only one not joining in on the fun…she didn't hear Tris shouting for her, nor see Four weaving out of people to get to her…and she certainly didn't see the cold grey eyes watching her every move with interest creeping within them at her reaction to being grabbed.

An interesting Initiation it truly was going to be.

* * *

Alright there's Chapter 3!

Please review when you are done :3 thank you so much!


	4. It's Out

**This Is Me**

Disclaimer: Nope, no ownage here besides my OC!

Note: Uh...yeah...very very short chapter! But it is a needed one for the next chapter to make sense.

* * *

It was easy to say that day one as a dauntless Initiate sucked, period; and the night hadn't been any better. After Audrey had escaped from the dining hall she had ran to their chambers, shedding her clothing and had taken a quick yet thorough shower before sliding back on her clothes and then finally huddling under her blankets in her bed.

The moment she laid curled up, the tears came. Tears of shame and disappointment fell from her eyes; it wasn't like she didn't want to join in with the others. She just couldn't deal with being touched.

When she was little she had no problems with others crowding her, touching her…but that had been before the beatings had started. After that she wanted no part in physical contact with those of her teachers and classmates. In the mind of a little girl, if her own father would painfully lay his hands and feet on her, who was to say that her friends and teachers wouldn't do the same? If the man who she was naturally born to trust and love just turned his back on her, who was to say everyone else wouldn't as well?

The faint glow in the room doused an almost calming yellow as Audrey laid there, lost in her horrid memories as her stomach muscles clenched slightly in hunger yet she paid it no mind; it wasn't like it would be the first time she had gone to bed hungry.

Footsteps suddenly echoed through the air, causing Audrey to quickly wipe at her eyes while pulling the thin sheet up closer to her face until the footsteps came to a stop.

"Are you ok?"

Jade eyes opened to look at the figure standing a few feet from the end of her bed. Opening her mouth Audrey went to answer only to be cut off.

"Don't say you're 'fine' when clearly you're not. We are both from Erudite…we know when something isn't right, Audrey." Giving the stunned girl a hard look Will slowly approached her side before lowering himself down to sit on Tris' bed.

It was then Audrey saw what he had been holding in his hands; a plate with a hamburger and some apple slices on the side.

Holding out the plate towards her Will ignored the distrustful look she gave him, "You barely ate and I highly doubt you want to go back down there. You need to eat and you know it." Giving her a patient smile he waited as she thought it over before slowly raising into a sitting position.

Whispering out a small thanks Audrey dug into the food while Will sat there silently, it was only once she had completely finished what was on the plate did he open his mouth, "I know why you left Erudite."

Silence followed as she felt her body tense up, reading into his words before opting to play dumb…there was no way he knew, "You mean because I was tired of all the studying? Well of course…" Shrugging like it was the most obvious of reasons.

Shaking his head Will looked right at her and said, "You left because you wanted to get away from the piece of shit man you call a father, I don't blame you either…" his voice was soft and sympathetic as he spoke but his eyes watched how her entire body froze before shaking slightly.

Time seemed to stop and the air grew so quiet one could hear a pin drop almost as Audrey stared down at her lap, hands clenched into fists that shook before her wide eyes. No…no there was no way he knew, no way that anyone knew about her… Shaking her head her lips moved in a mere whisper, "I don't know what you are talking about."

Raising a brow Will couldn't help but feel for the girl, to have an idea of the life style she had lived through all her life…or maybe it had happened recently…but no, the ex-Erudite knew what he saw those years ago and knew that her abuse had been going on for a good while. Leaning his elbows on his knees Will tried to get her to look him in the eyes but when that proved useless he asked out gently, "Suzann-"

"Audrey…it's Audrey now…do not call me by that other name again," her voice cut through his sharply yet glancing up through her lashes before glancing back down she said quietly, "Please."

Both his hands rose in a peaceful manner, "Sorry…didn't know if you were one of them who changed their name or not. Now, Audrey…" giving her a gentle look he went on, "I do know…I saw it."

Her heart rate picked up at a rate too quick to be healthy at his words sank into her brain, dark jade eyes seeming to look near black as her pupils expanded in their fear as she snapped them up to look at the fellow ex-Erudite as she asked in a shaky voice, "S-saw what?"

Leaning in Will glanced down at his hands for a moment in silence before turning his head back up, the images from those years ago surfacing through his head as he answered her truthfully, "I saw him beat you."

At that moment Audrey wished the ground would literally swallow her whole as he spoke those words…those words that brought her heart to a near stop…those words that brought her greatest fears to the surface…

Her secret was out.

* * *

Yepp...short lol


End file.
